McDonald’s vs Burgerking and the proletarian revolution

A philosopher and revolutionary once wrote about a revolution in Russia, and he achieved it. Today we have two fast-food chains, one embracing Marxism-Leninism, the other being staunchly Anarcho-Nihilist.

McDonald’s is the Vanguard of the Revolution

Following Lenin’s example, McDonald’s is a party structured around the principle of democratic centralism, its members being represented by Ronald McDonald. Under Ronald McDonald’s leadership, McDonald’s has reached new heights, such as converting the United States of America to socialism, by putting up candidates such as Joe Biden, Obama, Hillary Clinton and Abraham Lincoln. McDonald’s also organised things like the January 6th capitol riot, in an attempt to spread Marxism-Leninism Ronald McDonald thought.

However there have been a few shortcomings with McDonald’s, such as their lacklustre treatment of 3rd world countries, and their inability to capture people outside of the West, furthermore McDonald’s employees have become notorious for telling people to read “State and Revolution”.

Burgerking and Nihilism

But McDonald’s isn’t alone in its anti-capitalist movement, there is another prevalent movement, Burgerking. But Burgerking goes a different route, after their spiritual leader, the Burgerking, read the book “Blessed is the Flame” he realised that Marxism-Leninism Ronald McDonald thought was not the way to achieve a world freed from capital, he saw that the world cannot be freed in a revolution. He became an insurrectionary anarchist, he now advocates for the tendency of Anarcho-Nihilism and has formed an informal insurrectionary organisation, Burgerking, another fast-food chain.

The Fight

As you might imagine, there are high tensions between the McDonaldists and Burgerkingites, but lucky for you they have planned a boxing battle between Ronald McDonald and the Burgerking on the 22nd of July, with exclusive sales done by me. All money earned with this box battle will go to the winning fast-food chain, to expand their network and possibly win the war in the fight over the title of the rightful anti-capitalist organisation.

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Ihrs

Philosopher <> Major Anarcho-Ingsoc Theorist <> Freedom Figther